No trust, no relationship

The Bridge Chicago: Being Sexually Abused Does Not Make You Damaged Goods

thebridgechicago:

Anonymous asked:

I’ve been a victim of sexual abuse in my past, and I’m working through the repercussions of this - but I keep getting scared/worried that I’m ‘damaged goods’ now - and that I’ll never find a guy that would love me enough to want to be my husband etc. How do I work through this with God - any tips or things to focus on? Thanks for all that you do on the blog/podcast!

I answered:

I am deeply and profoundly sorry that someone did that to you. Let us get one thing clear: you are not damaged goods. In fact for the first time in the history of this blog, I am going to have to go all caps lock on you: YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS. 

You are a child of God who was purchased with the blood of Jesus and is a house of the Holy Spirit of God. What you are not, is damaged goods. If anyone ever tells that you are, feel free to direct them to me and I will explain that to them in person and possibly engage in a little Chicago style ‘laying on of hands”.

Sexual abuse does not define you. It defines your abuser. They are the person who made a decision and carried out an action. You were a victim. Not a participant, or an accomplice, a victim. That says nothing about you as a person.

No man worth giving the time of day is going to think any less of you because of this. Any guy who would look down on you for being the victim of abuse is a clown, a punk, and several other words that I will hold back in order to keep this a family show. To keep going on with your life and work through this shows an incredible strength of character and faith in the Lord. That is what a guy who gets it is going to see.

Your past is not a disabling injury, it is a battle scar that projects how tough and real you are. You should not be worried about if you will ever find a guy who is willing to accept your past. You should be focused on asking the Lord to send you a guy who can keep up with your bad self. You need to ask the Lord to help you remember who you are.

Also, the man you marry will have his own past. We all have painful things in our past. The Lord’s mercy is made new every morning, and that is something we all need to cling to. A godly man realizes the things the Lord has brought him through and saved him from and realizes that God is working the same way in the lives of others.

You are not impure because of this (check out this post by my boss and the internet’s favorite uncle, Unka Glen for more about that). You are not unlovable, you are not less of a person, and you are not damaged goods. You are a beloved daughter of the most high God, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.


-Matt from The Bridge
Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)

The Importance of Trusting Men In Your Circle

spiritualinspiration: 30 scriptures to get your hope soaring again: Trust Him You keep him in perfect peace 
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not. Matt. 6:27 Commit your way to the Lord; 
trust in him, and he will act. 
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 
and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:3-6 Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
 which cannot be moved, but abides forever. 
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, 
so the Lord surrounds his people, 
from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 125:1-2 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is firmly fixed, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” 
My times are in Your hand. Psalm 31:14-15 It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8 But my eyes are toward You, O God the Lord; in You do I trust and take refuge; pour not out my life nor leave it destitute and bare. Psalm 141:8Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 Seek Truth Look to the Lord and his strength; 
seek his face always. Psalm 105:4 We do not look at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:18The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17 Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6 I cast all my cares on You O Lord for You care for me. 1 Peter 5:7 You O Lord shall supply all my need according to Your riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19 Now to You, O Lord, who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or think according to the power that works in us. Eph.3:20 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. 1 John 5:14 Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 1 Tim. 6:17 You Triumph For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. Psalm 3:3And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid. Psalm 27:1Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me? Jeremiah 32:27Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. Psalm 22:4 Not by might nor by power but by my Spirit says the Lord God Almighty. Zechariah 4:6For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The Lord your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deut. 31:6 www.facebook.com/naeemcallaway
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spiritualinspiration:

30 scriptures to get your hope soaring again:


Trust Him

You keep him in perfect peace 
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not. Matt. 6:27

Commit your way to the Lord; 
trust in him, and he will act. 
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 
and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:3-6

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
 which cannot be moved, but abides forever. 
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, 
so the Lord surrounds his people, 
from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 125:1-2

He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is firmly fixed, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” 
My times are in Your hand. Psalm 31:14-15

It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

But my eyes are toward You, O God the Lord; in You do I trust and take refuge; pour not out my life nor leave it destitute and bare. Psalm 141:8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Seek Truth

Look to the Lord and his strength; 
seek his face always. Psalm 105:4

We do not look at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:18

The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6

I cast all my cares on You O Lord for You care for me. 1 Peter 5:7

You O Lord shall supply all my need according to Your riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

Now to You, O Lord, who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or think according to the power that works in us. Eph.3:20

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. 1 John 5:14

Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 1 Tim. 6:17

You Triumph

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. Psalm 3:3

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid. Psalm 27:1

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me? Jeremiah 32:27

Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. Psalm 22:4

Not by might nor by power but by my Spirit says the Lord God Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4

Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The Lord your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deut. 31:6

www.facebook.com/naeemcallaway

One of the most difficult things I had to do was to let go.

But once I did let go, I not only felt free, I was free.

The whole Israelite community set out from the Desert of Sin, traveling from place to place as the LORD commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they quarreled with Moses and said, “Give us water to drink.”

Moses replied, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the LORD to the test?”

But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?”

Then Moses cried out to the LORD, “What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me.”

The LORD answered Moses, “Go out in front of the people. Take with you some of the elders of Israel and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go. I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it for the people to drink.” So Moses did this in the sight of the elders of Israel. And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, “Is the LORD among us or not?”

Exodus 17:1-7 (NIV)
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